


The Parisian Adventure of Jackie the Tea Lady

by malfoible



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-02 01:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoible/pseuds/malfoible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your assigment 007 is to rescue our tea lady and if you can foil an international jewel theft that would be good too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Parisian Adventure of Jackie the Tea Lady

Waking and stretching Bond patted the space in the bed next to him. It wasn’t often Q got up first.   
He opened his eyes to see Q standing by the bed already dressed looking a bit worried.

James looked at him closely then a little closer. “ Ah you had a brainwave about that cypher that’s been troubling you all week and you want to go into work .”

Q's face frowned a little. “ Well yes."

James laughed. “ If you need to go work, you need to go to work. You don’t have to feel bad.”

Q kissed him deeply. “ Sorry but it's important. I’ll just stay an hour or two.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it. I will come looking for you if you’re too long.”

He snuggled back down into the bed.

Q worked for around three hours then he had an eureka moment and everything came together.  
He recorded his findings then went out into the larger office looking for tea.

Most of the staff were gathered round a tv screen showing a siege at a hotel in Paris.

“ Isn't that where Jackie the tea lady went for her wine tasting weekend?”

“Yes. Look there she is large as life on the screen.” There was Jackie together with her friend Cathy from the canteen.

“What is she doing? Is she signing?"

“Looks like it. What is she saying?”

“Q phone. I think.”

“Does she mean phone Q?”

“No Q phone. She’s saying she still has her phone and if you hack it, you’ll be able to hear what’s going on.  
We can talk to her without it looking like she’s on her phone.”

Q turned.” James” His face lit up.

“Thought I better come and get you. What’s going on?”

"I broke the cypher then I came out for tea.”

“Some French vineyard workers are protesting about foreign imports of wine, They have entered the hotel and seem to have taken people hostage, you can see Jackie on the camera.”

“Seems rather excessive to me let’s try that phone and see what we can hear.”

Sometime later.

“Jackie can you hear me?”

“Yes who is this?”

“ 007”

“ Oh you’re clever.”

“No Q’s clever I’m just doing the talking. Are you ok? Can you tell us what’s going on?”

“Some French vineyard workers were protesting outside but then they broke in and they’re keeping us hostage.”

“Who you talking to Jack?”

“007.”

“Oh He’s gorgeous he is and a proper gentlemen.”

“Just ignore her 007. She’s drunk.”

“It’s only two in the afternoon.”

“Well three here. But no matter, we’re at a wine tasting we’ve been drinking for thirty six hours now, trust me we’re both drunk.”

“Wine tasting. Aren’t you suppose to sip it and spit it out?”

“Ah bless him, what fun would that be?”

“Who’s talking now?”

“Q. The boss. Behave.”

“Ah he’s lovely too. Wouldn’t you like to just…”

“Shut up Cath he’s spoken for.”

“Sorry 007 and you sir. Ok yesterday there were protesters outside when we got here, kind of like pickets you might say, shouting stuff, no foreign wine, protect our crops, that kind of thing, they had banners.  
No one took much notice really but this morning masses of them forced their way into this function room where the tasting is. Making lots of noise, Shouting and waving their placards. There is a load of people here and we would not have taken much notice if it hadn’t been for the guns.”

“Have they hurt anyone?”

“No, just threatened but sir they were glocks the guns I mean they were glocks.”

“How would she know that James?”

“Even the tea ladies have access to the firing range Q.”

“ Glocks are hardly the weapon of choice of a gang of vineyard workers, something else must be going on, looks like the protesters were just used to get into the building.”  
“Jackie sit tight don’t put yourself in danger we’ll get back to you when we have more idea of what’s going on. Over and out.”

 

Q gave out orders “Get onto Interpol and the Surete. Get me a plan of Le Meurice hotel and check what else or who else is at that hotel this weekend.

A short time later they had more information.

An Arab sultan and some of his wives were staying at the hotel together with his most prized possession the Blue Diamond of Kandalah. This had to be relevent.

Time to inform M.

“M are you watching this news report about Le Meurice hotel in Paris. We think there’s a plot to steal a jewel .

“How do you know this?”

“ Well we have an inside man so to speak, Jackie the tea lady”

"Well that is interesting 007. You’d better head out to Paris. Can’t have anything happening to our tea lady and if you can stop the jewel being stolen that would be good too.”

Bond laughed.” So Q do you fancy a trip to Paris?”

Q’s eyes shone.” Really?”

“Make sure you bring Q back safe 007 we don’t want him in any danger.”

A couple of hours later they were across the street from the hotel.

” Let’s if we can get Jackie back on the phone.”

“Jackie we’re here across the street. Has anything changed?”

“Oh good. Cathy our lot are outside. Soon be rescued. 007. There is definitely something going on the protesters have no idea who the gunmen are. They seem to be arguing with them. There are only two of them in the room now. One on each door. Don’t know where the other two have gone.”

“We think they are after a jewel owned by a sultan who’s staying in the hotel. The protest and the seige are just a diversion ."

 

Bond met with agents from Interpol and the French police, they agreed a plan to safeguard the hostages and save the jewel.

Two of the men were apprehended inside the Sultan’s suite and when they heard this the other two surrendered.

Jackie and Cathy were thanked by Interpol and the french police. The hotel manager offered them a suite to thank them and then the sultan who was delighted his jewel had been saved wanted to meet them. He let them see it and they were amazed by its beauty.

M was on the phone saying how proud he was of both of them. Already planning his next meeting with the C.I.A." Well our tea lady foiled an international jewel theft only last month.”

Then Bond made them laugh by saying he had been sent to save them. The Jewel was just a bonus.

They were both pleased by the attention but really only wanted a nice hot bath and some coffee then they were going to visit all the sights. 

James looked at Q” do you want to go home straight away.”

“No let us do some touristy things too. Paris is for lovers N’est ce pas.”

James had a word with the manager and arranged for a suite for them too.

 

Then taking Q’s hand they walked the streets of Paris. Along the banks of the Seine past the artists with their drawings and sketches. Visiting Notre Dame, climbing up through Montmartre to Sacre Ceour. People watching at pavement cafes.  
Finally as day turned to night, taking the lift up the Eiffel Tower looking out over the city just as the lights turned on.  
James took Q’ face in his hands.

"Vous avez fait de moi un homme tres heureux. Que vous m’avez donne quelque chose que je ne savais meme pas que je voulais.Je t’aime tres.” Then he leaned forward and kissed Q with all the love he felt sizzling through his lips.

Q Wrapped his arms round James neck.

“Je ‘taime plus que le soleil, la lune et les etoiles que tu es mon monde entier.”

Paris is for lovers.

**Author's Note:**

> Le meurice is a real hotel in Paris. The landmarks are real too. everything else is fiction. translation>Bond says you have made me a very happy man and given me something i didn't know i wanted. i love you very much.Q replies I love you more than the sun the moon and the stars you are my whole world. It sounds more romantic in french.


End file.
